Just when I thought all was calm...

It snowed in the WRONG PLACE!!! We wanted snow in the BLACK HILLS of SOUTH DAKOTA, not in DENVER!!! (Yes, I realize that I'm yelling! I mean to yell right now!)

I'm most upset that Denver (hi people, you live at a mile-high altitude-- you should be READY FOR SNOW) has shut down their airport for the last 1 1/2 days. I want to go and be with my family. That currently requires me to go through Denver. About 24 hours after the airport reopens.

DH and I have been on the desktop and laptop, respectively, in a vain attempt to find a way to circumnavigate this mess. No luck, so now we're adding a call to United (which I'm sure will be routed to India) to it all.

Oh-- as we've dug around a bit, we've discovered that we can get to Denver, but can't get from Denver to the Black Hills. And India keeps hanging up on us. Yay.

Happy holidays!

Updated to add: I love my Dad. He offered to drive down to Denver to pick us up. Life is good. Well, pretty good.

And soon... we're off!

Time is passing by more quickly by the minute, it seems. We're getting busier and busier. However, we are trying to savor the little things that make the Christmas season fun. Tonight, it was attending the Christmas program in which my students performed. It was fun and it definitely helped us to get into the holiday spirit!

We're praying for snow in the Black Hills so we can ski when we're back there for Christmas, but it's not looking promising. We're unhappy that we won't be able to use our new skis-- disappointing, because I'd really like to break in my new boots. (We bought skis and boom! I got pregnant! I've been waiting 18 months to use these puppies!)

Anyway, we're soon off to visit the first time grandparents in Wyoming. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy the holidays with your friends and family! Seasons greetings from AAK!

Social life, smocial life

Mike left a tantalizing comment on my last post. It's something that I've thought about a lot-- in fact, it was something that my husband and I talked about at great length during the time leading up to my pregnancy.

Here's (my interpretation) of the issue: When you choose to have a child, you step up and parent. Yes, you lose your social life, you piss off your co-workers when you MUST leave to pick up the child from daycare, you lose your hobbies, and your relationship with your partner is strained as you both find your new equilibrium. (At least, that's MY experience as a new parent.)

As a teacher, I have clucked in judgement about many a parent and their messed-up priorities. I've experienced the parent that chaperones the field trip only to talk on his cell phone the entire time. I've waited for 90 minutes after school with a child whose parent was not at the bus stop and failed to realize that school is over. I've been on another field trip where a parent took off with his child and another child in a major metropolitan city. I've developed ways to get messages to a parent whose child has seriously violent episodes at school, and the parent in turn avoids me.

I'm not to the point of parenting a school-age child, but I find that I'm softening a bit and becoming a little more understanding. I think our societal expectations of the family and community have really changed, which is what I attempted to address in the 'My Social Life is Nearly Dead' post. I find that some of my friends expect me to carry on with my pre-baby status quo. My husband, who travels extensively for his job, doesn't understand why I compare myself to a single parent. My co-workers demand a reason for why I have to leave right after school.

I can't drop Mark off at my sister's house or my mom's house. I don't feel comfortable dropping Mark off at my friends' homes while I take care of errands, etc., because Mark is my responsibility. I feel like I don't have the family support that my folks had while I was growing up while it feels like my responsibilities are greater than those that my parents faced.

What I'm getting to is that I don't know where MY equilibrium lies quite yet. I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility that I bit off by becoming a parent in our situation. I really enjoy working-- but there are times when I wonder if being a stay-at-home mom would be a better gig. I don't want to shirk the responsibilities that I chose to take on by becoming a parent. However, I don't want to lose my friends, my marriage, and myself in the process.

Am I doing a good job? I really don't know. I'm just trying to do the best I can in my situation.

I'm also hoping that by overpaying the babysitter, that I can carve out a little bit of time for my friends, my husband, and me.

Don't get me wrong-- I love being Mark's mom. He's truly an awesome kid-- the way he crinkles his nose when he's being mischevious, how he giggles and crawls away from me, how he pretends like his toddler car is revving, and how he problem-solves to take things apart. My mistake was that I truly did not imagine, despite what other parents told me, how difficult it would be.

Would I do it all over again? Probably. ;)

We survived...

We went out. We ate. He drank. We laughed. I never took my mind off of the boy. We decided that we'd been gone long enough and decided to come home.

The boy normally goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. When we arrived at home at 9:30, he was still in the babysitter's arms with a tear in his eye.

It was hard to be gone tonight. I think it was good for all of us, though.

My Social Life is Nearly Dead

I live halfway across the U.S. from the bulk of my family. The relative that lives closest to me is roughly a 12-hour drive away. I don't have relatives that I can just swing by and drop Mark off with.

So, I normally take my son with me when I go somewhere. I've never had him with a sitter-- not on purpose, but it just seemed like so much trouble to set up and I didn't have anyone that I trusted to leave the little stinker with. (Especially because my child is a very. active. child.)

Tonight, I'm leaving the bambino with a sitter during my work Christmas party. I'm excited that I'll have a few hours to relax and be an adult without having to constantly be watching and listening for his location and choice of mischief.

Last night, I had an event as well. It was low-key, a small group of my co-workers and spouses at a co-worker's house. She repeatedly assured me that it was okay for me to bring Mark. I was very hesitant, but my husband came back into town and I felt pretty comfortable once I knew I wouldn't be 'on' the whole time.

We arrived at the party (late, of course. Said child got hungry and had a diaper just as we attempted to leave.) and got comfortable. Adult drinks, non-work related conversation-- all was good. Until my son saw a glass of red wine within his reach. Of course it landed on an Oriental rug. I really tried to have a good time after that, but I totally felt preoccupied about what my son was going to throw/dump/bang on next.

So, I'm hoping that I can go and have a good time tonight. I really want to relax and have fun. We'll see how it goes.

Random Holiday Observations

My son does not like his hat and mittens-- but I think that they are really cute.

Making no-bake cookies for my Cookie Exchanges saves me a lot of time and keeps peace with my DH. (I'm making 17 dozen cookies-- I'm a masochist for choosing to join two different exchanges.)

There is no possible way that I can complete all of the tasks that I have laid out for myself. Especially because I'm flying solo next week-- DH is gone tomorrow through Friday night.

Shopping at off-hours keeps me from cussing out the humanity that surrounds me.

While I normally like to make my Christmas cards, I am crying 'uncle' this year. My holiday letter is also very short-- but heavy on baby pictures. (The pictures are what most people like to see, right?)

My classroom looks like a disaster area-- but it's not hurting anybody and I'm okay with that.

Life is interesting right now because my son is now able to escape the ExerSaucer, can climb up our stairs (thank you, DH, for teaching him said task-- can you hear my sarcasm?), and knows how to maneuver the baby-gate free obstacle courses that once worked. Walking is just around the corner, and I'm scared. Really scared.

My son doesn't fuss as I put ornaments and lights on the Christmas tree, but freaks out when I try to wrap presents.

The First Haircut (i.e. Why My Son Has the Haircut I Wanted to Avoid)

I hate the standard baby boy haircut. Seriously. It looks like people put the bowl on their head and cut anything that hangs visible.

Then I took Mark to get his first haircut. It went reasonably well, at first. (I have video of the first 60 seconds or so. Then nothing.) The scissors part went okay, except that he wanted to watch the scissors. So the hair stylist brought out the electric clippers.

I thought it would go well when the stylist let Mark put his hand on the clippers to let him feel the buzzing sensation. Then she started cutting, and my son freaked out. We had screaming, thrashing, tears, louder screaming, and more thrashing. I had to attempt to pin him down by holding him close to my body and holding his head down in my hand. (Yes, I was nearly crying by the end.)

So my son has the bowl haircut. And I don't like it. But I accept it.

Traveling with kids can bite...

Julia at Here Be Hippogriffs has an absolutely awful, yet enthralling account of how traveling with kids can turn into hell when you're at the mercy of the airline industry. I couldn't resist and posted a comment under 'kmr' in the comments section. It's like I say about being a teacher-- I'm not clever enough to make this sh*t up.

Turkey, then sadness

We went back to Minnesota for a week. It was nice to see family, and I really can't complain about the visit. Mark was happy to get a great deal of attention but was less than happy to sleep in a strange house. Overall, it was a good, uneventful trip.

Then we came home.

First, I found out that the mother of my friend, the P.E. teacher had passed away.

When I called my person on the school telephone tree, I found out that the mother of our Media specialist is not doing well.

Then we found out that the good friend of my brother- and sister-in-law, with whom we had just celebrated Thanksgiving, had a heart attack. (Beware, women: pain radiating up the arm into the jaw can mean BAD things.)

Tonight as I was reading my hometown newspaper on the web, I saw that a good family friend had passed away.

Telling my dad that his friend passed away was awful.

Not the way I envisioned kicking off the holidays.

The 3 R's must die

I am a teacher. I teach third grade, and I'm certified as a general classroom teacher in addition to having reading specialist certification.

I am not, however, a fan of the federal No Child Left Behind legislation. I truly think that the sense of developmental appropriateness and creativity has been beaten out of the curriculum. In addition, I believe that teachers are so overwhelmed and harried that they are set up to not do a very good job.

Therefore, I read with great delight this article on cnn.com.

I believe that Americans are innovators. I also think that we need to embrace creativity and foster a culture of lifelong learning. Let's step out of the standardized testing box and really teach-- not to score well on the yearly test, but to help kids discover the world around them.

The relaxing effects of vacation, gone in mere hours

We had a lovely weekend in Maine. We woke up in New Hampshire (crisp morning! fallen leaves! steaming coffee! doesn't get any better!) and made our way up to Maine-- straight to Freeport. For those of you not in the know, it is the home of outlets done right. As in outlets, sans mall. There are just quaint little converted hometown America downtown businesses and homes and three ginormous L.L. Bean stores. It was fun-- we even had lunch at a hometown-y pizza joint.

We then had a great time the next day-- lunch at Big G's (I highly recommend the Avacado Monteban and the peanut butter whoopie pie) and an afternoon at the day spa. Once beautiful and relaxed, it was back for a delicious homemade dinner and the Wizard of Oz on tbs.

Then it was time to go. Off we went, wishing we could stay longer.

What awaited us? The TSA gauntlet from Dante's Inferno, waiting for a late plane with a hyper infant, and being so tired that I forgot to pick up our older car from my school last night. Only to get a call from the sheriff's office this morning that the back window had been smashed out and that we needed to come inspect it to see if anything had been stolen.

We need another vacation. Thank goodness I only have to wait until Saturday.

He's got timing

At the end of September, we took a weekend trip on which Mark got sick. This past weekend was take two.

We went down to Williamsburg to do some outlet shopping and to meet with our financial advisor-- and Mark got sick on the way down. Traffic was bad in West Point, VA (been to West Point? It seems like it's population 200-- but they are constructing a new bridge that stopped traffic for what had to be two miles. The two vehicles in front of us actually got in an accident-- sorry to the Saturn that hit the Beemer...) and Mark started screaming mid-traffic jam.

When we got to the outlet mall, Phil saw a spot open up and zipped in. Unfortunately, there had been two ladies in two different vehicles waiting for the same spot-- who we honestly didn't see. They proceeded to stop and berate us for our rudeness.

Then we started shopping and Mark was not happy with his stroller. The whining in LL Bean turned to crying in Gap (and everything echoes in a Gap outlet) which turned to full screaming and body flailing in Ralph Lauren.

We made our hasty exit to get down to our hotel room-- where Mark power-napped for two hours, screamed for two, restlessly napped for two, screamed for two, and so on. What we needed was Baby Vicks (had it but in the frustration didn't remember it) and a humidifier (I don't believe that humidifiers are amenities offered by the front desk).

We came home yesterday. Since he was at home, the night went better, right? Ha, ha. We actually called our health care's 24 hour nurse hotline at 3:15 A.M.

Thank goodness Mark has an appointment today with the pediatrician. I'm not sure I can take another night tonight.

All brought on by Ben Folds...

As I was growing up, my mom cleaned houses. Even though I was a working class kid, I knew many of the upper middle class kids in my hometown because my mom would bring me along as she cleaned houses on 'snob hill' (aka Ridgeroad). My first paycheck came from when I substituted for my mom and cleaned a dentist office. My first steady job was when I cleaned hotel rooms where my mom was the Assistant Manager of Housekeeping. I cleaned hotel rooms throughout high school and college.

I hated every single minute of cleaning rooms. Perhaps hated is too light a word for what I felt-- despised? Loathed?

Whatever. My goal in life was to be able to afford to pay someone to clean my house. Weird benchmark of success, perhaps. But as I kick back with my glass of wine, I consider myself to be rockin' the suburbs (okay, exurbs) as I sit in my house that is freshly cleaned by someone other than myself.

Life is good.

Cute I am

Mark's Halloween costume arrived. He does the ears when the white robe is on, but doesn't care for the ears by themselves.

Mark seems to be a happy sage, so we thought Yoda was appropriate.

Edited to add: Mark enjoyed all of the attention he received on Halloween night. The costume was quite a hit!

Food photographer vs. Working mom

There are times that I'm jealous of stay-at-home moms. Why? Time. Yes, time, time, time. I went to this blog the other day and turned all green with jealousy. It must be juicily glorious to have the time to take gorgeous pictures of wonderful home-cooked food. Me? I spend my time waking up, rushing around to get the four bags together (school bag, lunch bag, purse, and diaper bag), getting Mark bathed/fed/changed, load it all in the car, get to daycare and unload Mark and the diaper bag, rush to school, run around to get papers copied, teach the 28 kids while they all ask to go to the bathroom/media center/printer to get their Accelerated Reader paper while the instructional resource teacher/special ed paraprofessional/Behavior Center Monitor ask me about the missing writing tests/if student X needs support during the math test/the reading intervention group is one student low, then I get 30 minutes to walk to and from the lunch room/eat/pee, monitor students playing at recess/the car moving slowly alongside the kids standing at the playground fence/the parent without a check-in badge coming onto the playground, teach the kids some more while student X tries to rifle through the backpacks, student Y camps out in the bathroom for 20 minutes, and student Z chucks a crayon across the room but tells me that he didn't do it, then I load all of the papers that I didn't have time to touch during the day into my school bag, load my dirty dish bag/school bag/oops forgot the purse into the car, rush back to daycare, load Mark and the diaper bag, get home and unload the four bags, make dinner, feed Mark, try to eat while he cries because I'm not holding him, and then perhaps I have some time to pop off a quick email/blog post/watch the episode of Ugly Betty I've had tivo-ed for two weeks.

I'd love to be able to take pretty pictures of food.

Dove film

Yesterday, one of my co-workers asked me if I had seen the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty film. I tried to view it on my school computer and the hamsters on their wheels, powering our server, laughed their cheeky heads off at my audacity. Sooo.... didn't see it until tonight. I do think it succinctly sums up what it is like to grow up as a girl. Craziness.

What do you think?

Autism and Television

Last week, I was sent a link to a slate.com article that discussed a statistical connection between rates of television viewing and rates of autism. Being the aunt of an austistic boy (most autistic children are boys-- 4 to 1 boys to girls) and the parent of an infant son, my interest was piqued. I went to the actual Cornell University website to read the research. I was fascinated that: 1) the authors were economists, 2) that the TV-autism connection (and the TV-ADD/ADHD connection) was not drawn before, and 3) that I didn't hear about this on the news. (In fact, I still haven't heard about this on the news which just BLOWS MY MIND. Perhaps because most Media outlets are, ahem, on television?)

I don't get it-- we should be putting our children's needs first, but only when their needs fit with our television viewing habits? Hmm... I think this might be another sign of the apocalypse. (Yes, I'm being tongue-in-cheek!)

Edited to add:
Yesterday morning, I finally heard the report discussed in the Media. It was a 20-30 second radio spot on a major news radio station. They got a sound bite quote from one of the Economist authors of the study and the reporter stated that autism researchers were dismissing the study. Still haven't heard word about it on TV.

Eight months old and already talented!

My boy now has a new talent! My son has learned how to: knock over some sort of toy/bucket/etc. in his playpen, stand on top of his toy/bucket/etc., put his chin over the rail, and spit his pacifier about 4 to 5 feet away. If one decides that the pacifier accidentally made its way onto the middle of the living room floor, washes the pacifier, and returns it to the playpen, my son has the solution. The pacifier offends with its mere presence, so he calmly and patiently repeats the process again. ("Away, damned binky!")

As an educator, I understand that children are egocentric. However, I think my son takes it to a new high. When I go out for any reason, my son gives me the look that says, "Oh yeah, it's time for you to take me out so my fans can adore me." Then what happens? Every other person decides they should stop and admire Mark. I can't even stereotype and say that it is mostly grandmas, because they aren't. It's the huge bodybuilder that stops me to coo at Mark on my way to the gym daycare, the little kid in the grocery line, and the Naval officer behind me at the library. Don't get me wrong-- I'm happy that Mark is interacting with a variety of people in our community. What gives me pause is that in public, he turns on 'the perfect baby' persona. (He doesn't feel the need to use that persona at home. Every night, we get the red-faced, teary baby that immediately calms once we pick him up.)

As my friend says, Mark is rotten. As in spoiled rotten.

Another reason I won't be voting for Republicans this fall...

Commenting on the Foley scandal this morning, Pat Buchanan commented that the Democrats are hypocrites. What was his reasoning? That Rep. Pelosi and Sen. Clinton have marched in Gay Pride parades that 'reportedly' included a floats of the Man-Boy Love group and they failed to denounce that group. Sooo.... because Pelosi and Clinton support gays, they support Man-Boy love? This is what I commented about on another blog-- it really pisses me off that Republicans are spinning the fact that they covered up behavior that would get men arrested on Dateline NBC and swept Foley's behavior under the rug. Republicans are making it sound that gays are pedophiles. The Republican, Foley, was a pedophile, and the party covered it up to save their own butts. I plan to vote for every Democrat on the ticket next month...

Benign!!!

My mom had her appointment at Mayo today-- benign, benign, benign!!! Happy, happy, happy! From what she told me, they were very thorough and looked at many different possibilities of what the lumps could be. (Tumors or dermatological...) Cancer has been ruled out. I'm so happy for her. Yay!

The House of the Cranky Baby

Yesterday, the boy went to the doctor and got some medicine. He woke up this morning and was pretty darn cranky. I figured he was still waking up-- until we were in the car, I handed him a bottle, he took it by the nipple, and flung it across the backseat. That pretty much set the tone for the day.

Tonight, he's been pretty happy, considering how the day began. We're hoping that by putting him to bed early, he'll wake up in a better mood tomorrow. Does anyone have the happy baby serum out there?

What a weekend!

My husband and I went to a lodge in a national park this past weekend for our anniversary. We were so excited-- we had the hiking clothes/boots, the baby and all necessary accessories. When Mark began screaming an hour from the lodge, we didn't realize it was a sign. That night, he woke up, miserable-- every. two. hours. We tried to push through it and went for an amazing hike on Saturday morning, only to have an exponentially more miserable baby on our hands. He screamed, we bounced, he screamed, we sang, he screamed, we soothed, and he screamed. Repeat. Not the way I expected to spend our well-planned anniversary weekend. I have to say that people were right-- having a baby changed our lives!

So, my husband stayed home today and Mark got a day of Daddy TLC. He's feeling much better now.

My only request is that you send out your prayers, chants, vibes, etc., out for my mom on Wednesday. That's booby check day at the Mayo Clinic's breast center. We're hoping to hear negative, negative, negative, after someone thoroughly checks the scary boobies.

Saints

As I watch the Saints and Falcons play, I've gotta shout out to New Orleans. Y'all deserve to thoroughly enjoy kicking the crap out of Atlanta tonight. (Y'all deserved to have the Coast Guard and National Guard pulling you out of trouble last August before you had to bitch on CNN, too, but that's another post.) This Vikings fan is a Saints fan tonight!

Independence Day is Coming...

When I was growing up and would wait for the Junior High/Middle School bus, there were a couple of guys that looked a bit strange and were outsiders. The two guys wore long trenchcoats (this was waaaaay before Columbine) and had the whole 'I don't fit in so I'll try to intimidate you by looking scary' vibe. Little did I know that my sister would marry one of those guys about ten years later.

Less than 18 months after I got married, my sister (six years younger than me) called me to let me know that she was getting married. (I got 12 days notice and off I flew to Rapid on scary-expensive plane tickets that I couldn't afford.) Once she got married, it was like she dropped off the face of the earth. I rarely saw her and felt really disconnected from her. It was a painful time and I felt like she and I were on different planets. She smoked (as in her clothes always smelled, smoked), lived with her husband and some of their friends in the same house (my sister said when the movie You, Me, and Dupree came out that she didn't need to see it because she already lived it), she worked while her husband remained unemployed for years, and it seemed like we only talked around the holidays, if at all.

Once my husband and I saw Mark's heartbeat on the sonogram, I called my sister to let her know that she was going to be an aunt. She seemed very excited and genuinely very happy. Just a few weeks later, I got a telephone call from her husband. (Very weird-- I never talked to him. Ever.) He said that he had searched their computer, found that my sister had been conversing with an old boyfriend and was planning to leave him. I was blindsided-- I thought it couldn't be true because she'd call me and tell me personally.

Well, my sister did leave trenchcoat-guy, who, as I didn't know, was incredibly manipulative and controlling and as I did know, was happy to just let my sister finance his life. She has now let me know that once she heard that she was going to be an aunt, she decided that she couldn't let her nephew think that she was the strange aunt and she decided that her life needed to change. She did reconnect with the old boyfriend. Even though I wasn't personally happy that she went straight from a failed marriage to an old boyfriend, she has gotten her life together and we are not only sisters, but once again friends. Her independence day is next week. She'll officially be divorced and that chapter of her life will be over.

Happy Independence Day, M.

Religion and Peace, Part II

Found an article that encapsulates a few more of my thoughts on the Pope's comments and the response from the Islamic world. Look here.

I don't understand Fundamentalists, of any religion. Period. (Unfortunately, our Commander-in-Chief is a Fundamentalist as are the terrorists hell-bent on disrupting the lives of Westerners.) Peace, people!

Milestone

Mark reached the milestone of being able to pull himself up to standing-- which means that babyproofing must commence in earnest. Unfortunately, being married to an engineer means that looking at the nice baby gates in a catalog does not work-- we must see the gate, feel the gate, and try to use the gate several times before looking at the next gate. (I work from the looks good, works good, and I'll buy it philosophy. That's not how the engineer rolls.) Go to Wal-Mart, you say? Not only no, but hell no! I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart because I think that they are bad for America in many ways. So, I'm caught in a baby gate-less loop. We'll see how this goes!

Religion and peace

I'm Catholic and I'm American. The leader of my religion, in a speech, pulled quotes from an obscure 13th century philosopher that were anti-Muslim. Now I'm seeing massive protests in the Muslim world. I'm not thrilled with the pope-- he's way too conservative. He's also a 'my-way-or-the-highway' pope in Prada shoes. (Yes, he loves designer shoes. He can't denounce and root out pedophiles, but he can wear Prada.) I think that the Muslim world is going over the top in their persuit of the pope. Don't call him Satan-- just ignore him!

I wish that the Dalai Lama or someone of that caliber would begin a dialogue of the religions. Seriously. Isn't it time to talk about peace rather than focusing on this religion is violent, that religion is violent, yadda yadda? I'm seriously thinking about becoming one of those moms that marches for peace in D.C. We're totally messed up-- our troops should be in Darfur making sure that the refugee mothers don't get raped every time they go to gather wood with which they prepare meals for their families. I just don't get it. Can we please get rid of the Republican administration already?

Teeth!

My son has teeth. Last week, we ALL got colds-- runny noses, achy, etc. My son was incredibly mucus-y and was a bit whiny, but for cutting two teeth at a time, I think he actually did quite well. (And his dad-- well... not quite so pleasant. And he was not cutting teeth.)

We live in Redskins territory. And our Vikings beat them. Happy, happy!

I had election day off yesterday and really needed to catch up on school stuff. So what did I do? I made birthday cards. Weird, huh? I was volunteered to be on social committee at school (Why did I not say, "no,"? Why?) and they decided that since I'm a busy new mom that they would have me make cards. This was not helpful, but I am done thanks to a terrific friend who helped me yesterday.

I'm in the room as my husband watches highlights of the Hulk Hogan wrestling match. First of all, I cannot believe that Hogan is wrestling in his 50s. Second of all, I saw Hulk Hogan in Deadwood, S.D., and he is a very freakish-looking individual. 'Nuff said.

To close, I will quote my son. "DADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADA!!!!!"
If you would like to hear this for hours upon end, I can hook you up!

P.S. Karen at the Naked Ovary has Maya pictures. Seeing her go through the adoption process takes me right back to when my aunt and uncle adopted my cousin. Welcome to Mommy-hood, Karen!!!

Boobie update

My mom has an appointment in about six weeks at the Breast Center at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I had to light several fires under her butt to get her to be her own advocate, and I'm thrilled that she'll be out of the sticks to get her second opinion.

In Wyoming, the doctor and radiologist have been comparing her current mammogram (mid-August 2006) with a mammogram from December 2000 to give her a benign/malignant diagnosis. When she made her Mayo appointment, the person that set up the appointment told her to not even bring the 2000 mammogram-- it was too old and they didn't want to look at it.

I hope that this truly is effort spent to hear that she's cancer-free. It's nice to know that she's going to be examined thoroughly and according to current medical protocols.

Ernesto

Ernesto was much kinder to us than was Isabel. When TS Isabel came through, we lost ~70 trees on our two acres-- 12 of which decided to rest themselves upon our house.

When I got home from school yesterday (after our early dismissal), I discovered that our tulip poplar that shaded the backyard had plopped down across our backyard. Immediately, I remembered the sleepless night spent waiting for the 'pop-whoosh-bang' sound. Pop was the tree roots breaking loose, whoosh was the sound of the 50 ft. tree falling, and bang was the impact-- which we occasionally felt as a shudder in our 18 month old house. My a** didn't endure years of waiting for a baby just to get crushed like a grape with my sweetness in my arms. No way.

So, I ran like a madwoman through the house, literally throwing jars of baby food, shampoo and conditioner, and other needs in bags and off I went to my friend's house. (You know who you are, thanks again for letting the three of us crash...) We watched The Producers (what a strange movie) and ate wonderful Chinese that my DH picked up after the delivery person was in a car accident.

We snuck out early this morning and made our way home (after visiting Starbucks, of course-- I felt a bit more courageous with a Mocha in my hand). As we came through the neighborhood, we saw many trees down, and one damaged house. We had multiple trees down and many leaning trees. We had a leaning maple (as in leaning towards our master bedroom) that we quickly cut down-- and I was really disappointed to discover my crepe myrtle was broken and now at a diagonal angle.

This isn't what we wanted to be doing on the first day of the labor day weekend (I wanted to engage in retail goodness at the Williamsburg outlets)-- but it's all worked out okay.

Baby smile!

Vacation picture! If you have a baby and just happen to find yourself in Key West, I highly recommend the Butterfly Conservatory. It was just lucky for the butterflies that pudgy baby arms don't move as quickly as their wings!

Assorted smiles...

I had an entire hour of Mommy bliss today when my co-worker and I went to have a manicure and pedicure. Forgot how I love those massage chairs! The only thing that was hard was not letting my head hit the headrest-- too afraid that I'd start snoring right there in the Day Spa.

One day last week my husband stayed home with Mark because we couldn't find a backup daycare for the day. I got up and fed Mark a bottle and then put him to bed with my husband in our big ol' bed. As I was heading to work, I looked back on my boys-- and all I saw poking above the puffy duvet was a little smiling face. As I walked out, I couldn't help but think that all summer long I was prevented from sleeping in by that mischeivious little guy.

Recieved my shipment of Caribou Coffee this weekend. I ordered a bunch of different varieties in addition to Fireside, my favorite. I'm really liking the Mocha Java. I've got a Starbucks close by my school, but no Caribou. Probably a good thing, because I'd weigh a gazillion pounds as a result of waaaaay too many Mint Conditions.

Prison Break stinks this season. 'Nuff said.

Sunday Night Thoughts...

Love my weekends... Who doesn't? I had so much to do this weekend. For once, I got everything done that I needed to get accomplished. I had assessments to grade (you should see the look on the faces of third graders when, on the first day, they are told that they are taking a test), an Assignment Sheet template to create, and Science curricular content to download off of the internet (legally, folks-- my employer is too cheap to purchase materials that match the state curriculum, but wealthy enough to purchase district licenses to educational download websites). I also had shopping to accomplish (we're now House o' Similac again). We were also supposed to go to an HOA meeting, but I wussed out and sent Phil alone.

No news on my Mom. In most cases, I'd think no news is good news, but I still am not in favor of the laissez-faire attitude of her doctor/radiologist.

Wow. The best TV season finale that I've seen in ages was tonight's Entourage. Holy buckets!

Assorted rants...

What do my husband and I fight about? Money, of course. Par example, our daycare provider told us that she is quitting the business-- so we need a new daycare for Mark. We have, therefore, been on the hunt for one of the most scarce resources of which I know-- an infant daycare slot. I have been talking and networking for six weeks now. I finally found a slot. I tell the engineer and what does he start picking apart? That she's just starting in daycare and she's charging as much as the experienced providers in the area. So now he's telling me that he'll haggle with her to decide on a price. Umm... when I go to the store and see that there is a price on an item, I don't haggle. I'm trusting this person with my child-- the boy that I went through two years of waiting, months and months of charting, and a round of Clomid (which caused me to be so off-balance that I had a road rage incident) to concieve. Screw it-- he can take care of daycare issues from now on.

I talked to my Mom today. When she had her screening last week for breast cancer, the radiologist said the tests were inconclusive and she needed additional mammograms and/or a biopsy. She talked to both the radiologist and her doctor today. The radiologist said that he'd compare the mammogram she just had with her last mammogram (which is six! years old) to decide about the inconclusive lumps. Then her doctor says no additional screening is necessary on the inconclusive lumps and that she just has dense breasts.

At this point, you might be thinking, AAK, why not trust the doctors? Let me tell you why. My friend was told by a doctor when she was in her mid-30s to not worry about the lump in her breast. A year later, she demanded screening and he guilt-tripped her about how she didn't trust him. She got her screening, her second opinion, and guess what! She had breast cancer. Had to have a mastectomy, reconstruction, and the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. Had to have a second surgery to remove all of her lymph nodes. Now has a compression sleeve to deal with the swelling in her arm (aka lymphodema). It's pretty damn easy for a doctor to say not to worry about a lumpy breast. But it pisses me off that they're gambling with my Mom's life.

Boobies

My Mom has been going through the screening for breast cancer. When I went back to Wyoming a couple of weeks ago, I sat down with her to review all of her insurance coverage. Now that her tests keep coming back inconclusive, I'm attempting (from halfway across the country) to help her get a second opinion at a major medical facility once she hears benign/malignant from the doctors in Wyoming. The waiting thing really sucks at this point.

The weird thing is that I don't feel very emotional about this except anger that she's waited so long to get the lumps examined. Turns out that she's had the lumps for a while and she hasn't worked out a time to get screened. I'm pretty upset about that. Aside from that, I just want to know if she's okay or if we have a big fight ahead of us.

If she gets a malignant diagnosis, we've talked about bringing her out here for surgery. One of my good friends had breast cancer treatment at a breast center nearby and was happy with the treatment. I just don't want my Mom to get stuck in po-dunk Wyoming and getting ineffective treatment as a result.

I've also been reluctant to talk to people about all of this. I usually don't mind talking about stuff-- but I guess all of this just scares me too much. It's nice to have Mark and school to take my mind off scary boobies.

A New Start

Yesterday, I found out that I will be teaching a third grade class. I spent a few hours at school and got just a bit of work done. It's fun to unpack and freshen up the classroom for another school year. (That's what I say now-- I won't be loving life this weekend when I have a million and one things to get done by next week.) Since I was out on maternity leave last year, the school year was a bit disjointed. I'm ready to see a class all the way through the year.

I also got a new purse yesterday. I've shifted to a purse that's big enough to be a 'Mom purse.' I do look wistfully at my tiny little purses that are now lonely in my closet-- I'm afraid that those days are over.

Speaking of being a mom, I had a bad mommy moment this morning. I've been leaving Mark to commando crawl on the bathroom floor while I get ready in the morning. It bit me in the butt this morning when I left him alone for a few minutes and he was quiet (bad sign). When I looked back at him, he was rubbing his body with... the toilet brush! AAACCCCKKKKK!!!!!!! I make sure that I only feed him organic baby food and keep his bottles sterilized, but I stand idly by while he rubs caustic chemicals and other bits of ick. I can't even categorize it as slacker mom-- it's definitely a bad mommy move.

sundance and IFC are my friends...

As a teacher, I get about two months off. The summer is my time to refresh and rejuvenate-- and sit my butt down and be as lazy as I want. Being that I have been at home with my wee one and have the power of Tivo, I been watching documentaries. Mobutu, Salvador Allende, Super Size Me, Howard Zinn: You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (OK, that one was through Netflix), and The Corporation have all been on my viewing list at one point or another. I have been thinking pretty deeply about the way I wish to raise Mark as a result. I don't want Mark to go into a McDonald's or any other fast food restaurant that will try to convince him that eating in an unhealthy way is 'cool.' I want Mark to be a free thinker that questions the status quo. I wish for Mark that he trains a critical eye on the world. It's a big responsibility, though... How do I raise him in this mainstream world without having him buy into everything 'The Man' tries to convince him is good and wonderful?

Home Again, Home Again

Okay, I'll admit-- going to see family isn't exactly vacation. Mark made his command performance at his grandparents' home. I didn't exactly get any 'downtime,' especially with trying to get around to see everyone. Also, it's a bit frustrating to arrive at my parents' place to discover that our time has been scheduled before we even arrived. We had a nice visit, and Mark continues to charm all-- family, fellow airplane passengers, and random strangers on the street.

I'm very happy that we arrived back yesterday and didn't have to go through the 'no liquids' sweep at the airport. Yikes! My question is: are the screeners trained to know what formula smells like? What about breastmilk? (I was always nervous while I was breastfeeding and pumping that the screeners were going to make me justify that it was breastmilk in the containers...)

Now that I'm back at home and school starts next week, I've decided to lose some weight. I truly didn't know how hard it would be to keep the weight off once I stopped breastfeeding. I've previously done W*eight W., but I'm not sure what I'll do this time. I'm a bit intrigued by the Sonoma diet... Has anyone out there tried it? Is it do-able?

My Peanut

Okay, here's the second love of my life. Mark is my six-month old son. He has more personality than I ever expected was possible in a little body. It took 2 years of TTC, much charting, many OPK kits, and a round of Clomid (which turned me psycho, but that's another story) to get him here, and here he is!

People stop us to admire him, which he absolutely eats up. We were on vacation last week (which I'm saving for a future post). My cousin said that she wants to go to law school near us so she can babysit (fine with me), the captain of the boat we took to go snorkeling offered to babysit him anytime, and the cashier at the magazine stand in Fort Lauderdale stopped everything to talk to Mark and me. Want to meet new people? Mark's your ticket!

My Dear Husband is gone right now, but comes home tomorrow. I swear that we should start buying real estate in the cities to which he always travels!

We just got back from a combination trip to Albequerque (to see my cousin get married) and the Florida Keys (to relax), and we leave in a few days to go to Wyoming. We're accompanying Mark as he goes to visit his grandparents near Gillette. What is funny is that we've chosen to go back during the Sturgis motorcycle rally (which takes place in South Dakota, but spills over into Wyoming). So we'll be steering the stroller around the bikers.

It is hotter than hot here today, so we are staying inside all day today. My friends are coming over so we can work on a Mathematics graduate class. (Just what everyone wants to do on a hot day, right?)

Here I Am...

It's my first blog entry! I have been lurking on many blogs for a while, and have decided that it is time for my own. So who am I? I am a teacher, a new mom, and a wife to an engineer who travels endlessly for his job. I'm originally from South Dakota (born in Deadwood-- yes, the same town as the HBO series) and now live on the East Coast. More to come!