Just when I thought all was calm...

It snowed in the WRONG PLACE!!! We wanted snow in the BLACK HILLS of SOUTH DAKOTA, not in DENVER!!! (Yes, I realize that I'm yelling! I mean to yell right now!)

I'm most upset that Denver (hi people, you live at a mile-high altitude-- you should be READY FOR SNOW) has shut down their airport for the last 1 1/2 days. I want to go and be with my family. That currently requires me to go through Denver. About 24 hours after the airport reopens.

DH and I have been on the desktop and laptop, respectively, in a vain attempt to find a way to circumnavigate this mess. No luck, so now we're adding a call to United (which I'm sure will be routed to India) to it all.

Oh-- as we've dug around a bit, we've discovered that we can get to Denver, but can't get from Denver to the Black Hills. And India keeps hanging up on us. Yay.

Happy holidays!

Updated to add: I love my Dad. He offered to drive down to Denver to pick us up. Life is good. Well, pretty good.

And soon... we're off!

Time is passing by more quickly by the minute, it seems. We're getting busier and busier. However, we are trying to savor the little things that make the Christmas season fun. Tonight, it was attending the Christmas program in which my students performed. It was fun and it definitely helped us to get into the holiday spirit!

We're praying for snow in the Black Hills so we can ski when we're back there for Christmas, but it's not looking promising. We're unhappy that we won't be able to use our new skis-- disappointing, because I'd really like to break in my new boots. (We bought skis and boom! I got pregnant! I've been waiting 18 months to use these puppies!)

Anyway, we're soon off to visit the first time grandparents in Wyoming. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy the holidays with your friends and family! Seasons greetings from AAK!

Social life, smocial life

Mike left a tantalizing comment on my last post. It's something that I've thought about a lot-- in fact, it was something that my husband and I talked about at great length during the time leading up to my pregnancy.

Here's (my interpretation) of the issue: When you choose to have a child, you step up and parent. Yes, you lose your social life, you piss off your co-workers when you MUST leave to pick up the child from daycare, you lose your hobbies, and your relationship with your partner is strained as you both find your new equilibrium. (At least, that's MY experience as a new parent.)

As a teacher, I have clucked in judgement about many a parent and their messed-up priorities. I've experienced the parent that chaperones the field trip only to talk on his cell phone the entire time. I've waited for 90 minutes after school with a child whose parent was not at the bus stop and failed to realize that school is over. I've been on another field trip where a parent took off with his child and another child in a major metropolitan city. I've developed ways to get messages to a parent whose child has seriously violent episodes at school, and the parent in turn avoids me.

I'm not to the point of parenting a school-age child, but I find that I'm softening a bit and becoming a little more understanding. I think our societal expectations of the family and community have really changed, which is what I attempted to address in the 'My Social Life is Nearly Dead' post. I find that some of my friends expect me to carry on with my pre-baby status quo. My husband, who travels extensively for his job, doesn't understand why I compare myself to a single parent. My co-workers demand a reason for why I have to leave right after school.

I can't drop Mark off at my sister's house or my mom's house. I don't feel comfortable dropping Mark off at my friends' homes while I take care of errands, etc., because Mark is my responsibility. I feel like I don't have the family support that my folks had while I was growing up while it feels like my responsibilities are greater than those that my parents faced.

What I'm getting to is that I don't know where MY equilibrium lies quite yet. I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility that I bit off by becoming a parent in our situation. I really enjoy working-- but there are times when I wonder if being a stay-at-home mom would be a better gig. I don't want to shirk the responsibilities that I chose to take on by becoming a parent. However, I don't want to lose my friends, my marriage, and myself in the process.

Am I doing a good job? I really don't know. I'm just trying to do the best I can in my situation.

I'm also hoping that by overpaying the babysitter, that I can carve out a little bit of time for my friends, my husband, and me.

Don't get me wrong-- I love being Mark's mom. He's truly an awesome kid-- the way he crinkles his nose when he's being mischevious, how he giggles and crawls away from me, how he pretends like his toddler car is revving, and how he problem-solves to take things apart. My mistake was that I truly did not imagine, despite what other parents told me, how difficult it would be.

Would I do it all over again? Probably. ;)

We survived...

We went out. We ate. He drank. We laughed. I never took my mind off of the boy. We decided that we'd been gone long enough and decided to come home.

The boy normally goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. When we arrived at home at 9:30, he was still in the babysitter's arms with a tear in his eye.

It was hard to be gone tonight. I think it was good for all of us, though.

My Social Life is Nearly Dead

I live halfway across the U.S. from the bulk of my family. The relative that lives closest to me is roughly a 12-hour drive away. I don't have relatives that I can just swing by and drop Mark off with.

So, I normally take my son with me when I go somewhere. I've never had him with a sitter-- not on purpose, but it just seemed like so much trouble to set up and I didn't have anyone that I trusted to leave the little stinker with. (Especially because my child is a very. active. child.)

Tonight, I'm leaving the bambino with a sitter during my work Christmas party. I'm excited that I'll have a few hours to relax and be an adult without having to constantly be watching and listening for his location and choice of mischief.

Last night, I had an event as well. It was low-key, a small group of my co-workers and spouses at a co-worker's house. She repeatedly assured me that it was okay for me to bring Mark. I was very hesitant, but my husband came back into town and I felt pretty comfortable once I knew I wouldn't be 'on' the whole time.

We arrived at the party (late, of course. Said child got hungry and had a diaper just as we attempted to leave.) and got comfortable. Adult drinks, non-work related conversation-- all was good. Until my son saw a glass of red wine within his reach. Of course it landed on an Oriental rug. I really tried to have a good time after that, but I totally felt preoccupied about what my son was going to throw/dump/bang on next.

So, I'm hoping that I can go and have a good time tonight. I really want to relax and have fun. We'll see how it goes.

Random Holiday Observations

My son does not like his hat and mittens-- but I think that they are really cute.

Making no-bake cookies for my Cookie Exchanges saves me a lot of time and keeps peace with my DH. (I'm making 17 dozen cookies-- I'm a masochist for choosing to join two different exchanges.)

There is no possible way that I can complete all of the tasks that I have laid out for myself. Especially because I'm flying solo next week-- DH is gone tomorrow through Friday night.

Shopping at off-hours keeps me from cussing out the humanity that surrounds me.

While I normally like to make my Christmas cards, I am crying 'uncle' this year. My holiday letter is also very short-- but heavy on baby pictures. (The pictures are what most people like to see, right?)

My classroom looks like a disaster area-- but it's not hurting anybody and I'm okay with that.

Life is interesting right now because my son is now able to escape the ExerSaucer, can climb up our stairs (thank you, DH, for teaching him said task-- can you hear my sarcasm?), and knows how to maneuver the baby-gate free obstacle courses that once worked. Walking is just around the corner, and I'm scared. Really scared.

My son doesn't fuss as I put ornaments and lights on the Christmas tree, but freaks out when I try to wrap presents.

The First Haircut (i.e. Why My Son Has the Haircut I Wanted to Avoid)

I hate the standard baby boy haircut. Seriously. It looks like people put the bowl on their head and cut anything that hangs visible.

Then I took Mark to get his first haircut. It went reasonably well, at first. (I have video of the first 60 seconds or so. Then nothing.) The scissors part went okay, except that he wanted to watch the scissors. So the hair stylist brought out the electric clippers.

I thought it would go well when the stylist let Mark put his hand on the clippers to let him feel the buzzing sensation. Then she started cutting, and my son freaked out. We had screaming, thrashing, tears, louder screaming, and more thrashing. I had to attempt to pin him down by holding him close to my body and holding his head down in my hand. (Yes, I was nearly crying by the end.)

So my son has the bowl haircut. And I don't like it. But I accept it.